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Count Jim Moriaty

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Count Jim Moriarty is a character from the 1950s BBC Radio comedy The Goon Show. He was voiced by Spike Milligan. Moriarty is an impoverished member of the French aristocracy who has turned to crime to support his lifestyle. Despite having carried out many high-paying cons and robberies during the series, he and his criminal counterpart Hercules Grytpype-Thynne always appear to be permanently destitute. With his thick faux-French accent, he is often found scavenging in dustbins looking for food and uttering meaningless foreign-sounding curses like "Sapristi nabolas!", "Sapristi nyuckoes!" or "Sapristi bombpetts!" as well as a distorted form of actual French exemplified by "Sacre Fred!" from "Lurgi Strikes Britain". Moriarty travels closely with Grytpype-Thynne, often in the same suit or (in "The Jet Propelled Guided NAAFI") by hiding in the lining of Grytpype's underpants. In "The Call of the West", Grytpype announces that Moriarty is travelling west by fish crate because of the devaluation of the franc. Over the years, Moriarty changed from a suave, debonair and efficient French criminal mastermind and confidence trickster into a cringing sidekick of Grytpype-Thynne, who is often disparaging of his manic behaviour, referring to him as "you steaming French nit," "my fast disintegrating friend," or "you crutty French schlapper." Grytpype often introduces him ("and I quote from his death certificate") with a middle name such as "Thighs", "Knees", "Kidney Wiper", etc, along with an appropriate sound effect (e.g rattling bones, swannee whistle) or Moriarty's catch-phrase "Oooowwwwww", and descriptions of his prowess in various fields ("who has played the male lead in over 50 postcards," "Minister Without Underpants to the Principality of Monte Carlo," or "the world barbed-wire hurdling champion until his unfortunate accident"). On one occasion, he is introduced as Count Serge Moriarty; when Seagoon enquires "Serge?", Grytpype replies, "Only because he can't afford flannel." There is also some suggestion that the character is a parody of the Sherlock Holmes villain, Professor Moriarty. In The Hound of the Baskervilles According to Spike Milligan, a preface by Milligan explains that Sherlock 'did not stay dead for long', and after chasing him up a mountain did in fact kill Professor Moriarty, but he 'later became a character in The Goon Show.'

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