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The first victim of "The Phantom Head-Shaver of Brighton". His wife Prunella takes him to court, and after a three week trial, Judge Schnorrer finally pronounces sentence - "Now, then, Nugent Dirt - the jury of three just men and twenty-nine criminals finds you guilty of hiding your bald nut from your wife until after you had married her.... Therefore - I sentence you to pay a fine of three shillings or do sixty years in the nick". Dirt replies: "I'll do the sixty years - I'm not throwing three bob down the drain."

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