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Rhymes

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The Goons - Rhymes04:43

The Goons - Rhymes

Rhymes is one of the fourteen singles released by Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe and Spike Milligan released in April 1978.

In February 1978 The Goons would reunite on record for one final time with producer Marcel Stellman at Decca studios in West Hampstead. This session produced two masterpieces, namely  "The Raspberry Song" (originally debuted by Spike Milligan in a sketch on his highly innovative "Q" television series) and the risqué "Rhymes", released on Decca in April of that year.

LyricsEdit

(Harry Secombe) I'm going to hold a rhyming comptetion 

To prove that England is the greatest still 

But if I don't like the rhyme that you have written 

I reserve the right, the poet for to kill!

(Hercules Gryptype-Thynne) This could mean the big time! 

Have you heard of this man Moriarty 

Who's never appeared with Russell Harty

(Count Jim Moriaty) The reason is this: I was out on the

(All) That was a terrible rhyme --

(Secombe) who's the next victim -- that' you

(Major Bloodnok) A nobleman from old Bohemia 

Whose daughter was christined Euphemia 

Though she was a real stunner, she married a gunner 

With chancres and haemiophilia!

(All) That was a wonderful rhyme sign us another one,do!

(Count Jim Moriaty) The reason is this: I was out on the

(Major Bloodnok) Right in the old Niagaras

(Bluebottle) There was a young lady of Tottingham 

Who had no manners or had forgotten them 

At tea at the Vicar's, she ripped off her knickers 

Because she said she felt hot in 'em

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Minnie Bannister) Why aren't I in this recording

(Eccles) There was a young man of Tralee 

Who was stung on the neck by a wasp 

When asked did it hurt, he replied not at all. 

It can't

(All) That was an unfinished ryhme. Sing us another one do

(Sellers/Rough) Morning hard on the nurdle 

In arm with the bird and the burdle 

The old fargon goo, he done riden the blue 

And he grundled the gwreds and the gwrelds

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Milligan/Japanese) There was a young man from Yokohomo 

Who marry a girl from Kawmow 

On honeymoon night, bed catch alite 

So he get up and put on pyjammas

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Sellers/German) There was a young Nazi from Berlin 

Fought for Hitler in hopes that he would win 

Now he cleans all the shoes of the Golders Green Jews 

Boy have they got it in for him!

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Milligan/Indian1) There was a young man called Ghandi

(Sellers/Indian2) Ghandi is right

(Indian1) Who went in to the bar for the Shandy

(Indian2) You are right absolutely

(Indian1) With his great loin cloth he wipes off the froth 

And the barman says "Blimey, that's handy"

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Eccles) Well that's the end of that

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Major Bloodnok) Look, I have several others rhymes unsung

(All) That was a jolly good rhyme. Sing us another one, do

(Minnie Bannister) Stop! Stop! Stop!

FX: (various fading out complaints)

(Count Jim Moriaty) The reason was this, I was out on the

FX: (gunshot!) 

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